understatement of the century.

I suppose I should have added this to my random fact blog yesterday, but my sister and dear friend encouraged that I make a blog specifically for this fact. 

 

To say I am paranoid and a hypochondriac... would be the biggest understatement of the century.  Like really!

 

I refuse to watch a movie if it even looks like it could be scary.  If a preview of a horror film comes on the channel I'm watching, I switch channels.  I won't even let my husband watch some action movies because it freaks me out. 

My sister just recently asked for volunteers to read certain books for her. Being the great sister that I am, I volunteered, but immediately sent her a text saying... "text me the list first- I want the less horror/scifi one!" 

 

I just can't handle it.  If I read it, it some how gets into my brain and stays there.  I will think so much into it that I know for certain it's going to happen to me.  If I see it on TV, I am DONE FOR!!!  I literally freak myself out.

 

Not to long ago my husband had to leave for a few nights on a business trip.  (I married him because he promised he doesn't travel with work....)  A month before he left, I was trying to talk him into letting me go with him.  Then the week before he left, I was making plans to stay with my in laws.  No way in heck was I staying here by myself.  But some how my wonderful husband talked me into it.  The day he left, he took me outside and went over how to use all the guns... my request.  Right before it started getting dark I turned on all the lights.  I was about to cook Brilee supper when our lights went out.  What the heck?!?!?  It wasn't raining.  The wind wasn't blowing.  Why were our lights out?  Immediately, they came back on.  Then immediately went back off.  By now it is dark outside.  I'm freaking the heck out!!!!  Instead of thinking logically and knowing it probably was just nothing (our lights go out all the time with no reason!!!) I start thinking.. "oh my gosh- some one is about to kill us."  No lie, that was my thought.  In a state of panic, I grab Brilee, go to my bedroom and call my mom.  If you know her, you know that didn't help the situation.  She kept saying things like.. "look out your window to see if your neighbors have lights."  WHY should I do that mom??  "Shealee, you need to make sure you aren't the only ones without lights.. someone could be outside your house!!!"  DONE FOR!!!!!  Thankfully, ten minutes later, our electricity came back on and a great friend stopped by to check everything out.  Needless to say, it took three big gulps of Nyquil to knock me out that night before I could sleep. 

 

You see, even though I know there aren't monsters and the likely hood of someone coming to my house to kill me is small- it still freaks me out.  I know our ice machine makes horrible noises, but I can't help but think "someone is breaking into our house."  Or when the back bathroom starts running because something is broke and my husband keeps promising to "fix" it and hasn't yet, I think... "someone is in here."  I'm not ashamed to say that I am known to sit in my car for a good thirty minutes or so until John Scott makes it home because I didn't keep a light on and there is no way I'm going into that house. 

Yes, I am paranoid. 

 

 

Then the whole hypochondriac thing comes into play.

I still haven't made my mind up if I am or not.  I mean, I guess I am, but I think it's only because my family has drilled that into my head.

Yeah, I realize I always assume the worst.  But 90% of the time- I am right.

 

Like when I told my mother I broke my foot by just walking.  I was right.

When I was deathly ill for three whole days telling them I had an appendicitis.  Yep, I was correct again. 

Oh, and then that one time in college when I told them I was pretty sure I had the bird flu. Guess what.. I had it. 

So maybe I am a little bit of a hypochondriac, but hello, I'm normally right.

 

Once in a blue moon am I ever wrong. 

And since I'm not a hot head, I will explain some of the times when I am wrong.

 

This week I have felt like death.  No lie!  Terrible sore throat, snotty, sneezing, coughing, body aches.. the works.  I have been in bed since Wednesday.  I literally would wake up, go to the couch, eat vitamin c like candy and be in bed by 3:00pm.  My husband was convinced I had the flu, but I was convinced it was just the common cold. 

Then last night I noticed the right side of my neck, right below my jaw line, was swollen.  It was so tender to touch.  I immediately thought... "oh my god I have the freakin mumps!!!"  So of course, I google the symptoms.  Fever, check.  Headache, check.  Swollen neck, check.  Yep- its official, I have the mumps. 

I text my sister and Tyler and told them.  Aubree ignored it.  Tyler busted out laughing and told me it was probably my tonsils or lymph node.  Could she be right?  Probably.  But I just knew I had the mumps. 

So today I went to the urgent doctor.  When he asked what was going on, I simply stated... "I'm pretty sure I have the mumps."  He simply stated... "I'm pretty positive you don't..."  Needless to say, my husband and Tyler were correct.  I have the flu and a secondary infection in my lymph nodes. 

 

 

 

So, now that you all know that I am a freak... I will end this blog. 

But just a warning- if you are freaking out over a situation or need someone to reassure you that you are in fact okay, don't call me.  I probably won't be much help.  

want to know me?

While being my productive lazy self this morning, I ran across my friends blog post. 

It was a simple blog that stated 5 random facts. 

I enjoyed reading it!!!

So for your Friday pleasure...

I'm going to give you a few random facts about me.

Facts that I normally just don't share unless you know me very well.

You ready??

 

 

 

1.  I am hopelessly addicted to Dr. Peppers. 

When I say I could drink 4 cans a day- that is no lie.  I could probably drink a 12 pack but I just simply refuse.  The last 2 weeks I have limited my self to 1 a day.  It's killing me.

 

2.  Biggest pet peeve? 

ugh- I have a few!!!

Not being able to breathe out of my nose! I'm pretty sure I would rather have strep throat than my nose being stopped up.  I get this from my dad and sister.

The next one is probably a tie between my husband not shutting the cabinet doors shut all the way or when the grocery sacker doesn't organize my groceries like they should be.  (that alone deserves a blog post!!!)

 

3.  I'm a witch- with a capital B- 98% of the time

Yes, I realize I just called myself the B word, but it is true.  I love helping others.  I love being there for people.  I would give the shirt off my back to a homeless person.  But I don't put up with crap.  If you piss me off, you will know it.  My sister has always been the person who lets things go and never says a word.  No, not me.  I will let you know exactly what I'm thinking..

 

4.  I love awkward people.

Maybe its because I'm awkward?  I don't know.  But either way.. I love being around awkward people.  They literally crack me up! 

 

5.  I live my life around the bathroom. 

Literally. 

 

6.  Just in the past 2 months have I found out that I can't have gluten.

Which explains why I live my life in the bathroom.

and eventually I will blog about this experience.

 

7.  Every morning I read a daily devotional. 

It amazes me how it is exactly what I need to hear for the day. It's a free app called Jesus Calling.  I highly recommend it.  It is quick, to the point and inspirational. 

 

8.  I hate working out.

Like really hate working out. Probably why I make every excuse not to do it like I should. I rather eat a cheeseburger...

 

9.  I have always wanted to adopt a child.

Rather it be an infant or a teenager, I don't care.  If my husband would allow it and we could afford it.. my house would be full of kids who needed a home.  They are just kids.  They can't help the life that their parents chose.

 

10.  Books! 

I love books!!!  Reading is the only hobby I have. 

 

 

 

 

 

There you have it folks.  10 random facts about me :)

 

 

 



ironman

I realize my last few post have been more on the serious side.  Please just bare with me, I do have some that aren't so black or white for the near future.

 

But today is a special day!  So even though this blog might bring tears to my eyes- I'm going to try to keep it enjoyable... because that is exactly what he was.

Enjoyable!

 

 

Once in a blue moon you meet someone who changes your life.  Rather it's a friend you met some where, a child you gave birth to, a spouse, or a person you decided to love like family even though there is no blood connecting you. 

I've been blessed with all of the above!  I have a handful of friends that help me survive each day.  I have a child that teaches me daily.  A husband that deals with my mood swings, loves me dearly and forgives.  And I have a granpa who showed me that blood doesn't make you family. 

 

 

Papa Bill was the loudest, most annoying, aggravating man on this earth.  He could literally make me cuss and laugh until I cried within seconds.  He had no clue what gentle meant.  When he hugged you, you would realize that.  He never missed a basketball game or cross-country meet.  He was actually that big guy who ran along the side of the finish line cheering us on!!!  On Christmas Day, you could guarantee there would be a box of chocolate (gag me, terrible, disgusting!!!!) covered cherries in our stocking.  He always thought we loved those things.  I loathe them!!!!!! 

He wasn't perfect.  Actually, he complained all the time.  He was slightly OCD.  If you picked up a picture frame in the house, he was behind you putting it back in its exact spot.  He snored like a grizzly bear.  Lived off of bluebell ice-cream.  WWE or whatever it's called, was something he watched all the time.  He drove my grandmother NUTS!!!!  Heck, he drove us all nuts.  He couldn't wait to embarrass us and waited for the right moment to do exactly that. 

 

Papa Bill was... well there truly aren't words to say what he was.  If you met him, you know what I mean.  Words could never describe that man!  But for those who never got the chance to meet him.. one word sums him up.

He was our IRONMAN!!!!! 

 

You see, Papa Bill, he wasn't our grandpa by blood. 

He chose to be our grandpa.

And because of that- I love him even more!!!!

 

He could have walked away and never looked back.  He could have married my grandmother and never had anything to do with us.  But no.  He loved us.  He cherished us.  We were his pride and joy! 

 

Papa Bill taught me many things in the 21 years I had with him.  He gave me great advice when it was much needed.  But the best advice he never knew he gave me was what true love was. 

 

 

It's been four years since I last saw him.  Four years of celebrating his birthday without him.  Four years of missing my grandpa.  Four years of wishing he could see me and everything I have accomplished, failed at and tried. 

 

If I could have him back for just one day....

I would tell him how much he truly means to me!  I would let him hug me however tight he wanted to without complaining that he was smothering me.  I would tell him why one relationship didn't work out, but that he shouldn't worry because I met the man of my dreams.  I would brag about how my beautiful daughter drives me absolutely crazy most of the time.  Every detail of my wedding would be explained.  I would tell him that most of the time I'm not sure I deserve this life that God has blessed me with and then soak up his words of advice and encouragement.  I would sit and eat a tub of bluebell with him.  Heck, I would even take him to the boats for a an hour or two.  But besides kissing his bald head until he had to leave again.. I would tell him that the love he gave me my entire life was exactly what I needed. 

 

 

I love you Papa Bill.  Not a day goes by that I don't miss you.  I know you are in heaven dancing with Jesus.  (please don't bust out your famous hand moves you did while driving!!!)  What a wonderful birthday you must be having- I'm slightly jealous :) 

 

 

 

 

two? already!!!!

 

 

 

I've been putting this blog post off for two weeks now.  I kept telling myself it was because I wanted to wait and post pictures of the party, but I can't lie.  I think posting the blog meant admitting my one year old is in fact not a one year old anymore.  I can't believe she is TWO!!!!  I mean seriously?  Where the heck did the time go??  Turning two was way more emotional for me than one.  At one, she was still a baby.  At two, she turned into a toddler! 



 

Every single day I thank The Lord for her.  I thank Him for her stubbornness.  I thank Him for her hard headedness.  I thank Him for her heart and health.  I thank Him for her many mood swings.  I thank Him for her sweetness.  I thank Him for everything about her.  For she is fearfully and wonderfully made by Him!!!! 
These past two years have been the best.  Watching her grow up is hard and emotional, but it is also very exciting.  I pray God gives us many many many more years together.




I'm not going to post many pictures of the party, but I will post two that are my favorite. 

 

 

 

Have I mentioned how much I love my family?  If not, I LOVE THEM!!!!  Again, I am beyond blessed.  God not only has given me a perfect little angel, but He also gave me a loving supportive husband.  Brilee and I hit the jack pot when we found John Scott.  Yay for celebrating birthday number 2 with this handsome fella!!!!!!

 

 

                                                I think this photo speaks for itself. 




Thank you Lord for blessing me with two great years of being a mom!!! And happy birthday my beautiful princess.  I love everything about you.  Yes, even the fact that you are obsessed with cows. I love you, always have, always will. 

I saw God

I saw God today...

I didn't see His face nor did I see His profile.  I didn't hear Him speak nor did I hear Him whisper.  But I felt His comfort, His peace, His love and His grace.  I felt Him take my burdens off my shoulders and place it with hope.  No, I didn't see God in person, but I saw Him when He gave me strength today.

You see.. we all have personal battles that are being dealt with.  We all have hardships that we must overcome.  We all have good days and bad.  Rather it be quitting smoking or drinking.  The choice between divorce and marriage counseling.  Taking a new job or sticking out the one you have.  Having kids or adoption.  Forgiving or holding a grudge.  Debt.  Giving a child up or abortion.  Your rebellious child.  Your extremely strict parent.  Cancer.  Losing a child.  Never being able to have kids.  Seeing your parent or friend pass.  We all have issues that make us worry, doubt, and stress.  We are all human which means we all have fears and concerns.  We all have battles.

Mine?  Well it's a battle that I wouldn't wish on anyone. It's a battle of losing something you want so badly.  It's the fear that the one thing you want, you will never have again.  It's confusing and something I will never understand.  It's heartache.  It's full of doubts, stress and worry.  It's begging God for just one more.  It's thinking something I did caused this.  It's shame.  It's thinking maybe I'm not good enough. 
Today, my battle reappeared after 9 months.  Today my battle could have won.  Today my battle didn't win!!!!!! In the midst of the confusion, pain, crying and the "why again???"  I remembered this.. "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Psalm 55:22

Today- I realized His will be done
Today- my plan; my battle was nothing compared to the Lords.
Today- I SAW GOD!!!!!

no, we aren't superheroes.  no, God doesn't think we are either.  but He is!! trust Him with your battle. He will carry your burdens for you. 

imperfection is beauty

I had an old friend message me today.  At first I wasn't really sure what to think of it, but in the end, it opened my eyes.  For that, I am very thankful.


Although I hate to admit this, I am guilty some times of wanting what you have.  Rather it be your... hair, body, money, stress free life, the ability to cook like a chef, or wake up and conquer the world while chasing a child.  There are days when I simply wish I was you.  Why? Because my life so isn't perfect and yours looks exactly like what mine isn't.  Laugh all you want.  I'm sure you do the same.  Which is my point for this blog...
It's so easy to look at someone else and think they have it way better.  That their life is perfect from the outside so therefore it has to be perfect on the inside.  But is that really the case?  I don't think so at all.  I think deep down we all have a little bit of crazy in us and a whole lot of imperfection. 

This morning while chatting with that friend, they mentioned that my life seems perfect from the outside, but my blog yesterday made them realize that I'm just as real as them. And that statement really made me think.  Am I misjudging people by what I post on facebook and instagram?  Am I making these people think that I'm better than them?  I sure hope not because trust me... my life isn't perfect.  I have made some huge mistakes, I have regrets, I doubt myself every single day, and I have secrets just like you. 
In the past 4 years I've been dealt a pretty cruddy hand.  My grandpa passed away and a week later my parents divorced after 28 years, I got out of one unhealthy relationship to get knocked up in another, did the whole single parenting while dealing with postpartum, finally met a wonderful man who accepted my child and me, and now today I just found out that I have celiac disease.  See, my life isn't perfect?  It's actually been pretty crummy at times.  But at the end of the day... I still have a grandpa and two grandmas alive, my parents are both happy and healthy, I ended up with a beautiful daughter, God sent me a wonderful husband and although more than 50% of my day is in the bathroom- it makes for some funny conversations when I'm with my family and friends.

So, please, if you think my life is perfect.. look a little harder.  Heck, I haven't even brushed my teeth today!!! My house is messy.  My child ate cheez-its for lunch.  And my Christmas tree is still up. 

And to all you stay at home moms who make this job look so easy while you bake, go on play dates, stay on schedules and such.  I don't envy you anymore!!!  Because I know some where on the inside there is a mess.  It might be a small mess, but a mess is a mess.

My life isn't glamorous, but God has given me this life for a reason.  Just like He has given you yours for a reason.  Embrace the imperfections.  Love the crazy life you live. 

it's a bloggers world

To start a blog or to not start a blog??  This has seriously been my question for the past several months.  I mean I want to fit into this world and be like every other stay at home mom and do this.  I want to commit to this relationship, but I wont lie, I am scared.  I don't know if I have the time, the creativity or the dedication.  The idea of being a blogger might be cooler than actually being a blogger, but I suppose I will give it a go. 

So who am I?  Well lets see...
I'm a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and slacker.  Yes, I do believe those 6 words sum me up.  I grew up in East Texas, went to UT Tyler for college, got knocked up after graduation, met the man of my dreams soon after and then moved to Louisiana.  Yes, you heard me right.  I went from East Texas to freakin Louisiana.  Why?  Because the man of my dreams is from there.   I don't use my 28,000$ degree; I stay at home with my toddler.  I often debate going back to college.  Don't ask me why!  I love staying at home... most days.  Reading is my hobby.  I should workout more.  I'm addicted to dr. peppers.  My house is always never spotless.  I'm not real certain what privacy is anymore.  And even though my life may seem perfect from the outside looking in, it isn't.  I have my bitchy moments- just ask my mom, sister or husband.  I don't cook healthy at all, like ever.  I am known to give my child chips for breakfast. I battle a very sensitive stomach which causes me to live in the bathroom.  My husband and daughter make me want to scream 22 hours out of the day. I have secrets.  My life is chaotic, boring, fun, ugly, relaxing, stressful, amazing, simple... but I love the heck out of it.