Yikes!!!
I can't believe its been 3 months since I last blogged.
Time has came and gown way too fast.
A few times I have opened up my computer to start writing,
but each time I end up holding down the "backspace" bar.
Maybe I wasn't motivated!
Or maybe I wasn't inspired.
Either way, it obviously wasn't meant to be said.
But here in the past few days, I've had a lot on my mind.
My heart has been heavy and I catch myself during Brilee's nap time thinking out loud.
So today while she sleeps...
I'm going to share what my heart has been dealing with.
We live in a society today that is harsh.
If you are curvy, well you're fat.
If you don't eat "clean", well you're going to die.
If you weigh less than 120lbs, you're anorexic.
If you brag about your spouse on fb, you are obviously in a bad relationship.
But if you don't brag about your spouse on fb, you are obviously having problems.
If you have an abortion, you are going to hell.
If you give your child up, you are selfish.
But I dare you to have a child out of wedlock!!!
You get the point?
Well if not, let me go on....
Example: Divorce.
I come from a family that divorced.
My parents, after 28 years of marriage divorced.
No one saw it coming!
I mean, they were the "perfect" couple with the "perfect" family.
They were CHRISTIANS!!!
(gasp!!!!!)
But they divorced.
Was it hard to deal with? Yes!
Did it break my heart? Yes!
Was I mad? Yes!
Did it affect me? Yes!
Did I survive it? Yes!
So what are you getting at, Shealee?
My point... simple.
CRAP HAPPENS!!!!
I don't think my parents went into their marriage back in the day thinking they would get divorced. I think they truly loved each other. I think even today, they still love each other. (please do not take that as me saying my parents want to get back together!!!! good lord.)
What I am saying is... no one knows what happens behind close doors.
To the world, my parents were perfectly happy.
To each other, they weren't.
They tried making it work.
They just couldn't.
Life happened.
Another example:
I know a girl who gave a child up for adoption. A single woman.
Was she physically capable of raising a child?
Probably so.
But no one knows what was going on in her mind.
Maybe that child was brought into the world due to an unhealthy relationship.
Was it the childs fault? NO!!!
But maybe that woman thought if she looked at that child, she would only see bad things.
Selfish? NO!
To you? Maybe.
But guess what... your opinion... it doesn't matter.
Again another example:
There is a relationship that is so broken.
Both partners are unhappy.
You wouldn't know it if you didn't really know them.
If you just saw them on the streets or fb, you would think they are great.
But the kids are the only thing keeping them together.
Why?
Because this world tells them it's wrong.
Maybe none of the above is making sense to you.
But you see...
in the three examples I gave you, all the parties involved were torn.
Not only were they dealing with personal things, they were having to deal with you.
Instead of opening up your arms and saying..
"I'm here for you."
You were saying all the things they did wrong.
Instead of showing love,
you were showing hatred.
Instead of showing God,
you were showing the world.
People need love.
They don't need advice.
They don't need your opinion.
They just need love.
Maybe even some acceptance.
You are not God.
Yes, we are His people and we should spread his word.
But how about for once...
don't use words and use actions.
Show His love to the ones who are broken.
I know when my parents went through their divorce,
some of our closest friends hurt us the worse.
Instead of just loving us, accepting the fact this was going to happen, and being their for us.
They chose to judge us.
They chose to tell us how wrong it was.
They chose to give us advice when it wasn't their business.
My parents, sister and I needed support.
We needed laughter and love.
Yet, we got how wrong it was.
Do you not think my parents knew divorce was ugly?
Do you not think after 28 years of marriage, they tried?
Do you not think the girl who gave her baby up cried in her room because she was broken?
Do you not think she didn't care?
Do you not think that maybe even to this day, she might slightly regret it?
But yet... there you are thinking she is just a selfish woman.
And what about the couple who is strictly in it for the kids..
Do you think living together in an unhealthy relationship is right?
Kids see that.
Well, then they should go to counseling.
But guess what... they already have!
But once again, they are living their life for you.
Because you can't seem to stop judging and start loving.
My point in all the mess of words.
Start loving.
Stop judging.
Your opinion really doesn't mean anything in this world.
But yet, it's destroying people.
Next time you see someone dealing with something, try not to tell them what they did wrong, but instead just shut-up and hug them.
