two? already!!!!

 

 

 

I've been putting this blog post off for two weeks now.  I kept telling myself it was because I wanted to wait and post pictures of the party, but I can't lie.  I think posting the blog meant admitting my one year old is in fact not a one year old anymore.  I can't believe she is TWO!!!!  I mean seriously?  Where the heck did the time go??  Turning two was way more emotional for me than one.  At one, she was still a baby.  At two, she turned into a toddler! 



 

Every single day I thank The Lord for her.  I thank Him for her stubbornness.  I thank Him for her hard headedness.  I thank Him for her heart and health.  I thank Him for her many mood swings.  I thank Him for her sweetness.  I thank Him for everything about her.  For she is fearfully and wonderfully made by Him!!!! 
These past two years have been the best.  Watching her grow up is hard and emotional, but it is also very exciting.  I pray God gives us many many many more years together.




I'm not going to post many pictures of the party, but I will post two that are my favorite. 

 

 

 

Have I mentioned how much I love my family?  If not, I LOVE THEM!!!!  Again, I am beyond blessed.  God not only has given me a perfect little angel, but He also gave me a loving supportive husband.  Brilee and I hit the jack pot when we found John Scott.  Yay for celebrating birthday number 2 with this handsome fella!!!!!!

 

 

                                                I think this photo speaks for itself. 




Thank you Lord for blessing me with two great years of being a mom!!! And happy birthday my beautiful princess.  I love everything about you.  Yes, even the fact that you are obsessed with cows. I love you, always have, always will. 

I saw God

I saw God today...

I didn't see His face nor did I see His profile.  I didn't hear Him speak nor did I hear Him whisper.  But I felt His comfort, His peace, His love and His grace.  I felt Him take my burdens off my shoulders and place it with hope.  No, I didn't see God in person, but I saw Him when He gave me strength today.

You see.. we all have personal battles that are being dealt with.  We all have hardships that we must overcome.  We all have good days and bad.  Rather it be quitting smoking or drinking.  The choice between divorce and marriage counseling.  Taking a new job or sticking out the one you have.  Having kids or adoption.  Forgiving or holding a grudge.  Debt.  Giving a child up or abortion.  Your rebellious child.  Your extremely strict parent.  Cancer.  Losing a child.  Never being able to have kids.  Seeing your parent or friend pass.  We all have issues that make us worry, doubt, and stress.  We are all human which means we all have fears and concerns.  We all have battles.

Mine?  Well it's a battle that I wouldn't wish on anyone. It's a battle of losing something you want so badly.  It's the fear that the one thing you want, you will never have again.  It's confusing and something I will never understand.  It's heartache.  It's full of doubts, stress and worry.  It's begging God for just one more.  It's thinking something I did caused this.  It's shame.  It's thinking maybe I'm not good enough. 
Today, my battle reappeared after 9 months.  Today my battle could have won.  Today my battle didn't win!!!!!! In the midst of the confusion, pain, crying and the "why again???"  I remembered this.. "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Psalm 55:22

Today- I realized His will be done
Today- my plan; my battle was nothing compared to the Lords.
Today- I SAW GOD!!!!!

no, we aren't superheroes.  no, God doesn't think we are either.  but He is!! trust Him with your battle. He will carry your burdens for you. 

imperfection is beauty

I had an old friend message me today.  At first I wasn't really sure what to think of it, but in the end, it opened my eyes.  For that, I am very thankful.


Although I hate to admit this, I am guilty some times of wanting what you have.  Rather it be your... hair, body, money, stress free life, the ability to cook like a chef, or wake up and conquer the world while chasing a child.  There are days when I simply wish I was you.  Why? Because my life so isn't perfect and yours looks exactly like what mine isn't.  Laugh all you want.  I'm sure you do the same.  Which is my point for this blog...
It's so easy to look at someone else and think they have it way better.  That their life is perfect from the outside so therefore it has to be perfect on the inside.  But is that really the case?  I don't think so at all.  I think deep down we all have a little bit of crazy in us and a whole lot of imperfection. 

This morning while chatting with that friend, they mentioned that my life seems perfect from the outside, but my blog yesterday made them realize that I'm just as real as them. And that statement really made me think.  Am I misjudging people by what I post on facebook and instagram?  Am I making these people think that I'm better than them?  I sure hope not because trust me... my life isn't perfect.  I have made some huge mistakes, I have regrets, I doubt myself every single day, and I have secrets just like you. 
In the past 4 years I've been dealt a pretty cruddy hand.  My grandpa passed away and a week later my parents divorced after 28 years, I got out of one unhealthy relationship to get knocked up in another, did the whole single parenting while dealing with postpartum, finally met a wonderful man who accepted my child and me, and now today I just found out that I have celiac disease.  See, my life isn't perfect?  It's actually been pretty crummy at times.  But at the end of the day... I still have a grandpa and two grandmas alive, my parents are both happy and healthy, I ended up with a beautiful daughter, God sent me a wonderful husband and although more than 50% of my day is in the bathroom- it makes for some funny conversations when I'm with my family and friends.

So, please, if you think my life is perfect.. look a little harder.  Heck, I haven't even brushed my teeth today!!! My house is messy.  My child ate cheez-its for lunch.  And my Christmas tree is still up. 

And to all you stay at home moms who make this job look so easy while you bake, go on play dates, stay on schedules and such.  I don't envy you anymore!!!  Because I know some where on the inside there is a mess.  It might be a small mess, but a mess is a mess.

My life isn't glamorous, but God has given me this life for a reason.  Just like He has given you yours for a reason.  Embrace the imperfections.  Love the crazy life you live. 

it's a bloggers world

To start a blog or to not start a blog??  This has seriously been my question for the past several months.  I mean I want to fit into this world and be like every other stay at home mom and do this.  I want to commit to this relationship, but I wont lie, I am scared.  I don't know if I have the time, the creativity or the dedication.  The idea of being a blogger might be cooler than actually being a blogger, but I suppose I will give it a go. 

So who am I?  Well lets see...
I'm a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and slacker.  Yes, I do believe those 6 words sum me up.  I grew up in East Texas, went to UT Tyler for college, got knocked up after graduation, met the man of my dreams soon after and then moved to Louisiana.  Yes, you heard me right.  I went from East Texas to freakin Louisiana.  Why?  Because the man of my dreams is from there.   I don't use my 28,000$ degree; I stay at home with my toddler.  I often debate going back to college.  Don't ask me why!  I love staying at home... most days.  Reading is my hobby.  I should workout more.  I'm addicted to dr. peppers.  My house is always never spotless.  I'm not real certain what privacy is anymore.  And even though my life may seem perfect from the outside looking in, it isn't.  I have my bitchy moments- just ask my mom, sister or husband.  I don't cook healthy at all, like ever.  I am known to give my child chips for breakfast. I battle a very sensitive stomach which causes me to live in the bathroom.  My husband and daughter make me want to scream 22 hours out of the day. I have secrets.  My life is chaotic, boring, fun, ugly, relaxing, stressful, amazing, simple... but I love the heck out of it.