understatement of the century.

I suppose I should have added this to my random fact blog yesterday, but my sister and dear friend encouraged that I make a blog specifically for this fact. 

 

To say I am paranoid and a hypochondriac... would be the biggest understatement of the century.  Like really!

 

I refuse to watch a movie if it even looks like it could be scary.  If a preview of a horror film comes on the channel I'm watching, I switch channels.  I won't even let my husband watch some action movies because it freaks me out. 

My sister just recently asked for volunteers to read certain books for her. Being the great sister that I am, I volunteered, but immediately sent her a text saying... "text me the list first- I want the less horror/scifi one!" 

 

I just can't handle it.  If I read it, it some how gets into my brain and stays there.  I will think so much into it that I know for certain it's going to happen to me.  If I see it on TV, I am DONE FOR!!!  I literally freak myself out.

 

Not to long ago my husband had to leave for a few nights on a business trip.  (I married him because he promised he doesn't travel with work....)  A month before he left, I was trying to talk him into letting me go with him.  Then the week before he left, I was making plans to stay with my in laws.  No way in heck was I staying here by myself.  But some how my wonderful husband talked me into it.  The day he left, he took me outside and went over how to use all the guns... my request.  Right before it started getting dark I turned on all the lights.  I was about to cook Brilee supper when our lights went out.  What the heck?!?!?  It wasn't raining.  The wind wasn't blowing.  Why were our lights out?  Immediately, they came back on.  Then immediately went back off.  By now it is dark outside.  I'm freaking the heck out!!!!  Instead of thinking logically and knowing it probably was just nothing (our lights go out all the time with no reason!!!) I start thinking.. "oh my gosh- some one is about to kill us."  No lie, that was my thought.  In a state of panic, I grab Brilee, go to my bedroom and call my mom.  If you know her, you know that didn't help the situation.  She kept saying things like.. "look out your window to see if your neighbors have lights."  WHY should I do that mom??  "Shealee, you need to make sure you aren't the only ones without lights.. someone could be outside your house!!!"  DONE FOR!!!!!  Thankfully, ten minutes later, our electricity came back on and a great friend stopped by to check everything out.  Needless to say, it took three big gulps of Nyquil to knock me out that night before I could sleep. 

 

You see, even though I know there aren't monsters and the likely hood of someone coming to my house to kill me is small- it still freaks me out.  I know our ice machine makes horrible noises, but I can't help but think "someone is breaking into our house."  Or when the back bathroom starts running because something is broke and my husband keeps promising to "fix" it and hasn't yet, I think... "someone is in here."  I'm not ashamed to say that I am known to sit in my car for a good thirty minutes or so until John Scott makes it home because I didn't keep a light on and there is no way I'm going into that house. 

Yes, I am paranoid. 

 

 

Then the whole hypochondriac thing comes into play.

I still haven't made my mind up if I am or not.  I mean, I guess I am, but I think it's only because my family has drilled that into my head.

Yeah, I realize I always assume the worst.  But 90% of the time- I am right.

 

Like when I told my mother I broke my foot by just walking.  I was right.

When I was deathly ill for three whole days telling them I had an appendicitis.  Yep, I was correct again. 

Oh, and then that one time in college when I told them I was pretty sure I had the bird flu. Guess what.. I had it. 

So maybe I am a little bit of a hypochondriac, but hello, I'm normally right.

 

Once in a blue moon am I ever wrong. 

And since I'm not a hot head, I will explain some of the times when I am wrong.

 

This week I have felt like death.  No lie!  Terrible sore throat, snotty, sneezing, coughing, body aches.. the works.  I have been in bed since Wednesday.  I literally would wake up, go to the couch, eat vitamin c like candy and be in bed by 3:00pm.  My husband was convinced I had the flu, but I was convinced it was just the common cold. 

Then last night I noticed the right side of my neck, right below my jaw line, was swollen.  It was so tender to touch.  I immediately thought... "oh my god I have the freakin mumps!!!"  So of course, I google the symptoms.  Fever, check.  Headache, check.  Swollen neck, check.  Yep- its official, I have the mumps. 

I text my sister and Tyler and told them.  Aubree ignored it.  Tyler busted out laughing and told me it was probably my tonsils or lymph node.  Could she be right?  Probably.  But I just knew I had the mumps. 

So today I went to the urgent doctor.  When he asked what was going on, I simply stated... "I'm pretty sure I have the mumps."  He simply stated... "I'm pretty positive you don't..."  Needless to say, my husband and Tyler were correct.  I have the flu and a secondary infection in my lymph nodes. 

 

 

 

So, now that you all know that I am a freak... I will end this blog. 

But just a warning- if you are freaking out over a situation or need someone to reassure you that you are in fact okay, don't call me.  I probably won't be much help.